There is saying that “paper is more patient than man”, it came back to me on one of my slightly melancholy days, while I sat chin in hand, feeling too bored and limp even to make up my mind whether to go out or stay home. Yes, there is no doubt that paper is patient and as I don’t intend to show this cardboard-covered notebook, bearing the proud name of “diary”, to anyone, unless I find a real friend, boy or girl, probably nobody cares. And now I come to the root of the matter, the reason for my starting a diary, it is that have no such real friend.
Let me put it more clearly, since no one will believe that a girl of thirteen feels herself quite alone in the world, nor is it so. I have darling parents and a sister of sixteen. I know about thirty people whom on might call friends – I have strings of boy friends, anxious to catch a glimpse of me and who, failing that, peep at me through mirrors in class. I have relations, aunts and uncles, who are darlings too, a good home, no – I don't seem to lack anything. But it’s the same with all my friends, just fun and joking, nothing more. I can never bring myself to talk of anything outside the common round. We don't seem to be able to get any closer, that is the root of the trouble. Perhaps I lack confidence, but anyway there it is, a stubborn fact and I don't seem to be able to do anything about it.
Hence, this diary in order to enhance in my mind;s eye the picture of the friend for whom i have waited so long, I don't want to set down a series of bald facts in a diary like most people do, but I want this diary itself to be my friend, and I shall call my friend kitty, No one will grasp what I'm talking about if I begin my letters to Kitty just out of the blue, so, albeit unwillingly, I will start by sketching in brief the story of my life.
My father was thirty-six when he married my mother who was then twenty-five. My sister Margot was born in 1926 in Frankfort-on-Main, I followed on June 12, 1929, and, as we are Jewish, we emigrated to Holland in 1933, where my father was appointed Managing Director of Travies N.V. This firm is in close relationship with the firm of Kolen & Co. in the same building, of which my father is a partner.
The rest of our family, however, felt the full impact of Hitler’s anti-Jewish laws. so life was filled with anxiety. In 1938 after the pogroms, my two uncles (my mother’s brothers) escaped to the U.S.A. My old grandmother came to us, she was then seventy-three. After May 1940 good times rapidly fled: first the war, then the capitulation,followed by the arrival of the Germans, which is when the sufferings of us Jews really began. Anti-Jewish decrees followed each other in which succession. Jews must wear a yellow star,’ Jews must hand in their bicycles, Jews are only allowed to do their shopping between three and five o’clock and then only in shops which bear the placard “Jewish shop”. Jews must be indoors by eight o’clock and cannot even sit in their own gardens after that hour. Jews are forbidden to visit theaters. cinemas, and other places of entertainment. Jews may not take part in public sports, swimming baths, tennis courts, hockey fields and other sports grounds are all prohibited to them. Jews may not visit Christians. Jews must go to Jewish school and many more restrictions of a similar kind.
So we could not do this and were forbidden to do that. But life went on in spite of it all. Jopie used to say to me, “You’re scared to do anything. because it may be forbidden.” Our freedom was strictly limited. Yet things were still bearable.
Granny died in January 1942, no one will ever know how much she is present in my thoughts and how much I love her still.
In 1934, I went to school at the Montessori Kindergarten and continued there. It was at the end oif the school year, I was in form 6B, when I had to say goodbye to Mrs. K. We both wept, it was very sad. In 1941 I went with my sister Margot, ti the Jewish Secondary School, she into the fourth form and I into first
So far everything is all right with the four of us and here I come to the present day.
To distinguish them from others, all Jews were forced by the Germans to wear, prominently displayed, a yellow six-pointed-star.
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